Steven gets Tendies!
by JustSagan
Summary: Hello! I'm Steven Universe! And I like Tendies! I sure am a big boy! Read this story, and get 10 Big Boy Points!
1. Brown justice

Hello! I'm Steven Universe, and i'm the crystal gems favorit 32 year old big boy! Let me tell you about my very special day! That was the day that I used my big boy points to get tendies!

I slipped into my big boy pajamas, and ran out to the gems super excited! I couldn't go to my dad because he passed away from something called suicide!

I ran up to Pearl, and she must have gotten something in her eyes because it looked like she was crying!

"Pearl! I have 10 big boy points! I want tendies!"

Pearl looked at me, and more tears came out of her eyes! I knew she couldn't give me tendies with her bad eyes, so I decided to help her. I bet she would give me more good boy points!

"Dont worry Pearl! My fireman will help you!"

I pulled out my fireman, and started to pee pee all over her! It was working because she started to cry tears of joy! She was so happy that she ran into her room to celebrate! I was sad that I didn't get tendies, but I bet I would get alot of big boy points for helping!

I couldn't ask Garnet because Ruby and Sapphire have not fused back yet. All they ever do is fight now, so I doubt they will help me. I tried to tell them how many big boy points I had, but that only made them fight more.

I saw Amethyst walk out of her room, and ran to tell her how many big boy points I had!

"Hey Amethyst! I have 10 big boy points and I want tendies!"

She looked at me and got very mad.

"Fuck off Steven!"

She went back into her room. I couldn't let that stupid normie cunt get away with that! So I went on 4chan, and asked everyone what I should do! After getting called a cuck 50 times, someone suggested that I eat all the raw tendies, and poop on Amethyst!

4chan is always very helpful, so I ran to the fridge and ate the raw tendies! A few hours later, I felt the pain in my tummy. I had a little bit of diarrhea in my big boy pajamas, and knew I was ready!

I ran into her room, and saw her laying on the ground. She looked like she was so happy that she was crying tears of joy! But I couldn't let her stay happy! So I quickly ran up to her, and did my battle cry!

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

She knew I was there. So I pulled my pants down, and started to poop all over her face! She got mad and tried to scream, but my poop got in her mouth and caused her to vomit!

"Take that normie thot!"

I ran out of the room without my pajama pants, and was noticed by Ruby. Ruby grabbed me by my ear, and started to pull me towards her.

"I dont care what Saphire said! I'm kicking your ass you disappointment!"

I had to escape. So I grabbed some of my remaining poop from my butt, and smacked her in the face with it! She fell to the ground, and started to cry!

"Take that Normie! REEEEEEE!"

I ran back to my room, and touched my fireman to real life loli girls! After shooting my white big boy goo, I fell asleep! That was a special day!


	2. Tendies

Hello everyone! It's your favorite 32 year old big boy! I have another story for you!

My mommies told me I had to go find a job, But i'm not stupid! I know that jobs are for normies! So I went to the Big Doughnut to pretend that I was getting a job there! Also, when ever I leave, Amethyst always brings home a new daddy! The new daddys always leave when I get back for some reason.

On my way there, I saw Connie! But I knew I wasnt suppose to go near her after I shoved my white big boy goo in her mouth! So I made sure to avoid her! I knew Pearl would give me Big Boy Points for that!

I made it to the Big Doughnut, and Sadie must have known what I wanted, because she ran to the back of the store when she saw me! She is so nice! Lars looked at me, ready to serve me!

"What are you doing here you faggot!?"

Lars must use 4chan a lot, because he always calls me a faggot! Sadie already knew what  
I wanted, but I realised that I didn't have any money! I remember one time when Pearl gave me a doughnut in exchange for big boy points!

"Can I pay with Big Boy Points?"

Lars Didn't respond, and only looked at his phone. I wondered if he was looking at 4chan.

"I want to see your phone!"

I tried to grab Larses phone, but I accidentally broke it. He got mad and hit me! This big boy wouldn't let him get away with that!

"REEEEEEEEEEE!"

I jumped over the counter and started punching his face! I punched him so much that he fell asleep. Sadie screamed and called the cops. That was good! They needed to arrest Lars for hitting me!

The cops came and took me to a new place to protect me from Lars! They gave me orange pajamas, let me stay in a room that had bars to protect me, and there were a whole bunch other people there!

My roommate was very big and very black. I remembered what 4chan always called black people!

"Hello nigger!"

The Black guy looked at me! Apparently black people always look angry!

"What the fuck did you say!"

The black guy was so happy that he put his fireman in me! It hurt a lot, but that's what new friends do in "prison". He seemed to like it alot! He even did it to me during shower time!

After a few more days, the cops brought me to a new cell! I was all by myself, and they told me that Lars had died. Apparently he died while asleep or something. The cops wanted to award me with something called a electric chair!

This is going to be a lot of fun!

They asked me what I wanted for my last meal. I told them tendies, and the cop didn't know what I was talking about!

"REEEEEEEEEEE! I WANT TENDIES! GIMME TENDIES GIMME TENDIES GIMME TENDIES!"

I tried to punch him, but another guard tased me! I fell asleep, and a guard woke me up. The guards found out what tendies were, and they brought me free tendies!

After I ate the tendies, they told me that it was time for the electric chair! I was so excited, that I pee peed in my pants! Some of it got on the guard, and he started saying naughty words!

The electric chair is going to be so much fun! I can't wait to tell you guys all about it!


End file.
